Well Merry Fucking Christmas everyone.

Aren't you all glad that stress-fest is over and done with? I sure as hell am. I'm tired as shit.

Last journal I did was right before Thanksgiving, which was at my house this year...I'm legit insane for actually doing that. But it turned out well, the food I made was slammin and nothing got fucked up. Except the garbage disposal decided enough was enough and needed some major repair work. All in all I would call it a success.

Remember that diet Mike and I went on? Well that was put on hold for the holidays, we've both accumulated some flubber, but it melted right off the first few weeks of the diet so I have no doubts that will happen again. Might as well enjoy my 23 year old metabolism while I can right? We also had Mike's birthday this month and numerous holiday parties because everyone loves inviting their token gay friends. Ugh.

Then Christmas started...I won't get into the whole thing about buying gifts on such a tight budget, only got the kids a handful of things because they have 4 family sides that spoil them rotten. I was seriously hoping someone would get them a Wii so I could play it. But no such luck.

Keeley however did get some kind of make up for little girls...that I got to wear. Fun. The shit is so toxic it practically took a scrub brush to get it off. That's one that will stay on top of the closet for a few hundred years. Ave is all bummed because everyone got him "baby books". I'm always talking about how he loves to read...but there's no reason to give an 8 year old "Polar Express" when he's reading Artemis Fowl books. But he's definitely loving the computer games I got him, one is a pretty realistic flight simulator that he can't play for more then an hour because it can cause headaches and nausea.

I'm a little bummed about the gifts I got too. I stopped receiving gifts for myself the second I had a kid, and now every year I feel like I get stiffed. Which I know is selfish, but jeez just one Christmas I'd like to open gifts that aren't useful home/family things like pots and pans or an ice maker. Mike got me the TomTom GPS unit I asked for, which is cool and very necessary, also some books directly from my Amazon wishlist, Red Sox vs. Yankees Connect 4 (I am the undisputed champion of the game and I get to always be the Red Sox) and some new metal waterbottles that I'm always saying I need more of. So he did good. From other people I got a slew of crap.

1) Tommy Hilfiger cologne. I have a child with asthma...I don't wear cologne often.
2) A hat/scarf set that's black...supposed to be unisex...but a little too feminine for me to ever consider wearing.
3) A DVD that has 3 episodes of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Seriously? I hate that fucking show. I hate camp fags who use words like fabulous and think everyone MUST use hair product. If you're straight and you want to get a gay family member a gift...just go for the dinner gift card. We won't mind the fact its impersonal.
4) A laminator. That's a new one really. I recall saying one time that I'd like to laminate the kid's art projects so I can keep them in good condition. But who buys a laminator?
5) A waffle maker. -sigh- Just because I miss my apple cinnamon eggos...does not mean I have the time or the patience to actually make waffles. This is just another household appliance that will eventually burn me/fall on my foot/be left on the counter for me to wash/get in the way of appliances I might actually use. Two words: GIFT CARD!
6) A $5 giftcard to dunkin donuts.
7) Cheap chocolate.
8) Cheap wine.
9) A poinsettia...really? Do I need this? If I wanted one I would have bought it at the grocery store a month ago.
10) These little metal rings with colored beads on them, meant to put around the stem of your wine glass so you know which is yours. Again...if you have gay friends/family...GET THEM A GIFT CARD.
11) (Ok these are actually really cool, but completely random) Fake leather bound books that were hollow inside. Cheers...now we have a new place to hide weed, pills and sex toys. Thanks!

Speaking of sex toys...I just spent $56 on discreetromance.com. How'd that happen?

I guess I'm in post-holiday bliss because I haven't showered, shaved, gotten out of bed or eaten anything that wasn't chocolate all day. Score.

No work this upcoming week because my son's off from school...but I did agree to help someone paint their house. Don't ask me why. I must have been heavily medicated.

I'm also in the process of downsizing some things, in the epic preparations for the day that Mike and I have our own place we have acquired a lot of "stuff". Mostly crap. Mismatched utensils, dishes and other random things. So we've gotten serious and started replacing things and deciding what can go now. I have the feeling that when we do sell this crap box of a house everything will happen rather quickly. And since we plan on getting adjoining condos with my kid's mother and her boyfriend (so we don't have to shovel snow or cut grass anymore)we need to decide who's is what now and get it on paper. Not an easy process. But a healthy one. Even though we love being a little misfit family there needs to be clear lines drawn in the sand. And the 40in HD flatscreen is one of them.

Oh, in case you were wondering where the title to this journal is from, my brother Josh is going through a messy divorce, that we all saw coming, including my 8 year old. He and his girlfriend had a baby when they were 19 and 20, got married, bought a house...and surprise! it didn't work out. Now they're getting divorced, have a 5 year old with serious anger issues and a house in foreclosure. So I was washing Ave's hair (he can never seem to get all the soap out) and we were talking. We never liked Josh's wife, she's a bitch. So Ave decided that we should get Josh a mail order bride from Russia or wherever so that we don't have to talk to her. I laughed and told him that most people in other countries who are educated know how to speak English and we as Americans are typically the "dumb ones". To which he replied: "mail order bride doesn't exactly scream EDUCATED". I laughed so hard it hurt, and even know remembering it...I'm still laughing.

In art news, I have been making a few batiks, but none of them are done yet. They are gifts...but the people who I promised them to are ok with them being late. One of them the dye transferred because someone folded it up when it was still wet. So now I have to try to find some creative way of covering it up. Should get interesting.

My art class is still chugging along, still only a few students, waiting on more to call. But they're currently doing a multi-media project I came up with. We took pictures of leaves in the fall and now they look at them on a computer screen and have to paint them with acrylics, mosaic them with magazine "tiles" and use ripped up tissue paper. 3 different styles, all on canvas. I'll post those when they're done.

I guess that's about it, I'll probably post another blog detailing the post-Christmas mess.

Blabbity blabbity blah.

Not much new here, other than the depressing amount of time I'm spending at home. Still pretty much unemployed...but I have a few money sources coming in. First off I still have one client that will only work through me, so I'm still going to work about 4-6 hours a week (but not making any sales commissions...so its barely worth the money to be there) But I am not in a position to turn down any wage right now so I'm sucking it up. Second I'm still teaching my little art class once a week, so far no new students but I'm expecting more will come out of the wood work after Christmas. Third, my sister wants me to courier files for her from her paralegal office to various attorney offices. And fourthly, my neighbor is paying me to drive her teenager to work a few days a week.

So on a "good" week, I can make about $355.

That really pisses me off, but it's better than nothing.

With all this going on it looks like the "sexcation" I had planned to Boulder CO. isn't going to happen. My tour of gay American cities will have to be put on hold.

In other depressing news Mike is borderline diabetic and his cholesterol is creeping up enough for the doctor to be concerned. So our doctor drew up a pretty simple diet plan and I offered to do it with Mike to support him.

Of course I regret my offer.

Basically more fruits and vegetables, more lean protein...and very few carbs (sob). I have lost the chubby-hubby pounds I've put on since my car accident a few years ago, and I feel more energized and all that jazz...but FUCK I would kill for a can of cheesy pringles and some ramen noodles.

I think I'm done ranting.

Yeah no more bad news bears for the rest of the journal...I'm not the pity party type.

In art news I am going to be cranking out batiks for various family members and friends as Christmas presents (because I'm broke as shit). So I will be sure to take pictures of those.

I also have a bunch of silk scarves to work on, batiking is really meant for silk and the extremely thin scarves I found on the batik supplies site were only $2 each. So I figure I can do a whole mess of those and by time spring/summer comes I can sell them at my town's farmer's market like the other starving artists.

Also I agreed to do a bunch of pink ones for my Relay for Life team. It's good karma to donate.

Of course now that my minds working on art things I'm thinking about all the stuff I WANT to do...like buy broken tiles and plates and mosaic my basement wall where the foundation is exposed.

I don't plan on living in this shoebox forever but that would be fun and relaxing for me.

In "kid news" we have decided not to home school my son, he just turned 8 and is in a Montessori school...which was supposed to be the solution for when we encountered the "he's bored and learning things he's known for years" stage in public school. But now he's somewhere where they are supposed to give him work according to what he is mentally able to do...and he's gone so far ahead that they can't give him new materials because the school doesn't go up that high.

So my initial reaction to that was to pull him out completely and home school since...well I'm home anyways. Plus my neighbors, the ones who's kids I teach art to, they're home schooled and they are in a really great co-op program with all kinds of weekly field trips and stuff like that. So I was kind of excited to be a part of that but my son put his foot down and said he loved his school and his friends. And the more I thought about it the more sense it made to leave him be. He's on a scholarship so we don't have to worry about tuition till fall of 2012, plus he has 4 teachers at any given time, I can't compete with the attention 4 teachers can give him. Especially since I have a very demanding 3 year old and all of these odd jobs to do.

So long story short I spoke with his school and they said that I can pull him out a few days a month to go on these co-op field trips and that it wouldn't be a bad idea to supplement his learning at home. I'm not going to let him go further because at this rate he'll be doing algebra by next Christmas, so instead I'm going to "borrow" the language tapes and books my sister has. She's a linguistics major and can speak Spanish, Italian, French, Latin and Chinese. If I can keep him busy with a language program he'll still be learning but he won't be so advanced that he'll be bored in a school setting.

That was probably really boring to read but I have nothing else to talk about.

And no he's not a "genius" according to the testing but he enjoys learning so much that he puts all of his efforts into it. He's been that way since he was a baby.

Except for potty training...no effort there.

Well then I'm off to nap or something.

Yeah I know...long time no update. Big shocker there.

First major life event to discuss, I lost my job yesterday. My boss owns her own business and I was helping out 5 days a week because she had 2 small kids to take care of, been working there about 2 and a half years now, easy work and I get to bring my youngest with me instead of leaving her in a day care. Recently I began to notice my boss's husband staying home a lot, saying he was sick, blaming the weather conditions and even milking a fender bender for almost a month. I ignored it, his lazy ass wasn't my problem. I've been working nonstop since I was 15 because my parents raised me to have work ethic. /rant Anyways my boss busted her knee and was laid up in bed for a while, so in addition to doing her job and mine I wound up helping around their house. The shop I work in is in their basement so I'm usually upstairs in their house to use the bathroom or get coffee or whatever. The husband was supposed to be keeping up with the house...big surprise he wasn't. I walk in one morning and there's dirty diapers on the floor, food all over the place, piles and piles of dirty dishes...it was horrible. And my mother taught me well, there's no mistaking that fact. When someone is laid up you do whatever needs to be done so they can get better. So I cleaned. I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher 3 times, scrubbed everything else with soapy water and wiped up the floor. By time I finished it was almost 10am and I know my boss needs to take her pain meds around 9am...but her husband hadn't come down stairs to get her food to take it with...so I put my ear to the door and I can hear him snoring...and I can hear her crying with pain. So I got her a cup of coffee and made her eggs and toast. I was getting increasingly pissed off at her husbands laziness...I can deal with keeping an eye on their twin daughters, who just play down in the playroom with my kid anyways, but I shouldn't have to clean someone elses house and feed someone elses wife.

Just to give you an idea of what sort of asshole this guy is. So long story short, he's addicted to World of Warcraft...and he stopped going to work recently to play it...so they fired him. I show up Friday to work and get told that they can't afford to pay me anymore. But they don't know how to do the sales and shipping themselves so they're going to keep me on about 8 hours a week.

Pain in my fucking ass. So I'm currently looking for another job.

This weekend also happened to be my finals. Nice right? I just finished my last exam a few hours ago so I'm still pretty brain dead...

But just so there's less doom and gloom in this blog entry I'll try to think up some cool shit.

Wednesday was pretty cool, I was driving down the road and its sort of an industrial road a lot of people use to avoid morning traffic, the speed limit is 35 or so...but everyone does 60. I was truckin along and I noticed someone flash their lights at me. But I wasn't really sure if I imagined it or not because the road is bumpy so sometimes that tricks you...but then the next person did it...so I slowed down to 35. Sure enough there was a parked cop car just out of sight farther up along the road. Extremely relieved and thankful for the people who warned me I started flashing my lights at upcoming cars, and was pleased when I looked in the rear view mirror and saw everyone's brake lights.

Gives you some faith in humanity.

Well it gave me faith in humanity...but right now my faith in my son's compassion is up for review.

Some weekends my little brother who's 15 comes to stay over for a few nights, and usually he sleeps on a blow up mattress in my son's room. But all day my brother has been coughing...so now my son has kicked him out of his room saying "I don't want your stupid swine flu". Little mean? Yeah probably...but its really funny to see a 7 year old giving shit to a teenager. They act more like brothers than uncle and nephew.

Oh...In art news I've been teaching an informal art class a few afternoons a week. Not making much of a profit from it but I enjoy it so its nice. Basically I'm teaching world art to sibling group that's being home schooled. It started out with me showing them a batik I made, then the mother asked me if I could teach her kids and now it's turned into a nice little class. I'm hoping now that I'll have more time on my hands I can get business cards made up and go further.

And yes I do plan on posting the batik I made, just got a lot going on right now lol. There's also an abandoned and dilapidated barn and house I really want to take pictures of, so be on the look out for that.

I'm also going to see Paranormal Activity on Monday...so while I'm too scared shitless to sleep maybe I'll update my journal again.

Man I hate having people over my house. I just flat out don't like it. I have to clean and make sure everything is perfect or Colleen will flip shit cause shes so stressed out. So far today I have made 2 trips to the store, cleaned the ENTIRE HOUSE (and not just my normal weekly cleaning, no, EPIC CLEANING. Like scrubbing the kitchen floor and the cabinets and the inside of the fridge, put away breakables, scour the bathroom to the point of pristine and make sure there is not one single dog hair ANYWHERE. Seriously at this point people will come in the house and be convinced we sold the kids and pets to the circus.)Also I have cleaned out the back patio...which was a disgusting mess cause we pretty much just keep random crap out there...the pool and pool deck (Spider Haven apparently)the "spa room" (don't go thinking we're rich...its a small room off the house that has a broken hot tub in it, it was here when we moved in and we can't exactly get rid of it.) And the basement for some odd reason. On the off chance someone does decide to use the toilet that's in our laundry room...I don't think they'll care that there's boxes and shit (and more spiders!) down there.

But then again what do I know.

The bbq is today and it's kind of our annual block party. The dude that used to live here had it every year because this is the only house on the street that has a real yard instead of a cliff, and a pool. When we first moved in we were expecting our daughter and I was confined to a wheelchair... so they left us alone, the summer after that I had more surgeries and shit...so no party. Then last year they're all like "Dude...throw a fucking party so we can use your pool."

.....ok.....

Turned out to be a really great party last year, despite the fact that it was in the middle of a heat wave and it was about 110 degrees (f).

I actually found something I wrote up right before last years bbq:

--------------------------------------------

I hate my job.

I'm sweating and itchy and smelly.

But now, my bedroom is officially an igloo. An igloo with legos on the floor. They feel great when you walk on them. *stab* *crunch* *slip*

I have laundry to do, but for some reason the idea of lugging baskets of blankets and towels up and down 2 flights of stairs in 100 degree weather...doesn't appeal to me. Who decided the perfect place for a laundry room was a basement? You don't keep clothes in a basement. That's like putting the dishwasher in your bedroom.

Having a pool party Saturday. Not my idea. None of my neighbors have pools so they all collectively decided that we should have a block party here. Even tho our 'block' is 5 houses. Fun. But apparently someone is bringing Carolina ribs so it might not be so bad after all.

Ew my battery light is blinking.

-------------------------------------------

Nothing stunningly insightful but I thought I'd share.

Carolina ribs are on the menu once again, along with steaks, various seasoned chicken breasts, cornbread muffins, fruit salad, potato salad, pasta salad, regular salad, home made mac and cheese (my specialty) and whatever anyone else brings. For dessert there's cake, brownies, a make your own sundae bar, and s'mores.

Jealous?

You should be. One of my neighbors (Mr. Jeff) is a meat enthusiast (oOo) He works for a place that sells meat so he got all this for free...(once again...not...rich) Him and his wife (Miss Pat) are the best neighbors ever. They've practically adopted my children as their surrogate grandkids (not having any of their own) And they really are just fantastic people. Not many older couples would be so thrilled to have young adults as neighbors, especially young adults who have various friends and family living with them, kids and are a gay couple. But they're just awesome. I really can't praise them enough. They've been over here since 7am setting up the outside and helping us clean and get the grills and smoker set up (he has his own 'rig'. As of right now I've been banished inside with my son because both of us get physically sick in the heat and need breaks to cool off in my igloo room.

In other Will News I say Julie and Julia last weekend...not a bad movie...just long. The food made me hungry and the beautiful cinematography made me want to move to Paris...but that's to be expected. Meryl Strep did a fucking fantastic job as Julia Child...even hardcore Julia fans will forget they're watching another person. Seeing her brought back to life really did make my day.

After the movies I went all the way up to Massachusetts to watch my little brother in a hockey game. He's 15 and played for the Junior Islanders this summer session so it was kind of a big deal. Even though he barely got played...and they tied the game. But I had a pretty exciting moment when one of the kids on the other team started saying shit to me through the glass. So I pretty much screamed SUCK COCK...and everyone turned to stare at me. Then security asked me to leave and Mike was humiliated. My son found it hilarious and my little brother got to brag about me to his team mates so I don't regret it. Even if about 60 small children heard me.

Fun times.

As far as art shit goes I'm still holding off on really dying my batiks until this weather cools off and I can do it outside and enjoy it. Painting with hot wax just isn't ok in 100 degree weather in a house with no central air.

Oh and I bought an amazing patina tile mirror at pier 1. I'm quite proud of it. It is possibly the only piece of displayed art I own...even if it is mass produced.

Ok time to go and get crackin.

Wish me luck.

Yes I know I haven't written a blog in about a month, but that's life for you. And now I get to write an extra long one JUST TO FILL YOU IN.

ALRIGHT?

Alright.

First off I just noticed something, on my deviant art profile it says "Needs Premium Membership". Um. Excuse me deviant art, please don't tell me what I do or do not need. I am an adult. Your wording on MY profile is not clever, making me feel poor is not cool. I am not a professional artist, and if I was I would have my own fucking website. Thanks.

Anyways. I have been sick recently, and not -cough cough- sick, like dying in my bed sick. First I had what I thought were allergies, spent all of Friday and Saturday sniffling and horking out some insane boogers, but then Sunday and I woke up and I couldn't talk, couldn't walk, was struggling to breathe. Fun stuff. I flat out refused to go to the emergency room, so I settled on letting Mike take me to the MediQuick. Got there and they moved, went to the new location and it was closed for construction, went to the one in Hartford next to the drug rehab place and the loony bin...THEY WERE CLOSED TOO. Yet the rehab walk in clinic was open and packed. I guess if I was a drug addict I would get medical attention...but not a hard working parent. Oh no that's just asking too much. /end rant

So in my fury I called my doctor's cell phone number, and he agreed to meet us at his office, which is really kind of a cool thing to do. The lab part of the office was already open so it wasn't a huge stretch but I appreciated it all the same. We went into his office and he proceeded to take my temp and blood pressure and all that, discussing my symptoms and we concluded that I had a sinus infection and my horrifically sore throat was from a mixture of the post nasal drip and the air conditioner blowing on my face all night. All the while I'm absentmindedly scratching at one of the numerous mosquito bites on my body. (A result of Keeley and I taking walks in the wooded path behind the street where I work, fortunately for her...she's never once had a mosquito bite in her life.) He sees that and asks about it, I tell him what I told you, he asks me to take my shirt off and roll up my shorts...wouldn't you know we counted 34 mosquito bites. I looked at him to tell him I hadn't noticed the itching in all of my other discomforts...and he looks fucking worried. He felt my neck and shoulders and announced that my lymph nodes were extremely swollen and asked if I had been achey or nauseous. I answered yes...and then he looked even more worried. He then explained to me and Mike (who was pale as a fucking ghost at this point) that I PROBABLY had West Nile Virus. I didn't know much about it at that point but I knew it wasn't anything too bad, just a flu like sickness that went away with rest and fluids. Come to find out...it wasn't me he was worried about. I'm healthy as a horse...it was my 3 year old he was concerned with. So after agreeing to come back the next day and have blood tests I raced home to check Keeley over and see if shes sick. But no, my baby didn't have a single bite on her and was bouncing off the walls as normal.

So Wednesday I go back for a physical and the results of the blood test. But I'm not worried...if I did indeed have west nile I feel much better now. This was all the week before last so I'm already better, just still on the anti-biotics. Tomorrow will be much more interesting. I'm having a mole on my back removed that recently went from a flat brown circle to a puffy, painful red blog protruding out of my skin. Skin cancer FTL.

Other then all of my miscellaneous medical problems I'm doing quite well, saving up to take a class this fall semester so I can keep my health insurance...realizing I did need it very badly after all. And I have started a new hobby. Batiking. For those of you who don't know it's a form of textile art involving dye and wax to create patterns on cotton or silk canvases. I'll explain more when I have some I can show you. It's kind of a long process but it's one I can do in my basement. My kit and my dyes and waxes just came in the mail today...so once I figure out how to add and mix all of the chemicals that go along with the dyes I'll be grand. When I did this in high school we were handed a piece of fabric, a paint brush, a crock pot full of wax and directed towards a room with buckets of dyes chilling out under desks. But I am now finding out there is a lot more to this than just sticking it in a tub of colored water. But I'm sure I'll get the hang of it, I bought a book too that has clear instructions and since I bought a beginners kit it spells out what each chemical is for and when in the process you use it. So tomorrow on my day off I'll fuck around with it and see what happens.

I just realized this blog isn't very funny.

Here's an amusing conversation I had with a friend. May it lighten your day.

(Discussing the oldest Duggar child getting married and uber Christian views on sex)

Hudson says:
yeah but if shes a virgin then she doesn't know what shes missing
Will says:
how can you have sex with no idea of what it is?
Hudson says:
iunno
Will says:
oh this is crazy
Hudson says:
I've had sex outside of wedlock
Hudson says:
AND used artificial contraception so I dunno how they think
Will says:
omg the book hes reading has diagrams
Hudson says:
ugh lol
Will says:
I've had premarital sex
Will says:
but I haven't used contraception lol
Will says:
1 up on you
Will says:
in the eyes of the lord
Hudson says:
yeah but god hates you cause your gay
Hudson says:
so I win by default
Will says:
touche
Hudson says:
I'll send you a postcard from heaven

Funny guy.

Actually here's another conversation we had that was funny enough for me to save.

Will says:
omg
Will says:
dude
Will says:
im so fuckin stressed out
Hudson says:
over?
Will says:
stickers
Hudson says:
stickers
Will says:
stickers
Will says:
im putting together my portfolio
Will says:
and i wanted to make a label on the front cover
Will says:
'student teaching portfolio'
Will says:
SO
Will says:
i raid colleens shit
Will says:
find stickers with letters
Will says:
make a label on a piece of colored paper
Will says:
its all pretty
Will says:
i get to the end of portfolio
Will says:
AND THERES NO MORE O'S
Hudson says:
ouch
Will says:
so
Will says:
i find a new pack of stickers
Will says:
different kind
Will says:
KILL MYSELF GETTING THEM STRAIGHT
Will says:
and it still looks like shit
Will says:
like a fucking retarded gorilla did it
Will says:
so then mikes like
Will says:
'why dont you just print it out'
Will says:
NESIFNCHOIRUMCIUSHOIFR
Will says:
why didnt i think of that
Will says:
WHY DID I TRY STICKERS
Hudson says:
I dont know
Will says:
rawr
Hudson says:
indeed
Will says:
hmph
Will says:
i was shaking i was so angry
Will says:
because the stickers are weird cellophane-y ones
Will says:
painstakingly tried to make them perfect
Hudson says:
I dont think Ive ever been so angry I've shook
Will says:
oh i have
Will says:
but your a mild mannered person
Will says:
i just threw a book across the house because of stickers
Will says:
STICKERS
Hudson says:
lol
Will says:
and the scissors that cut on a zig zag
Will says:
yeah
Will says:
try and cut a straight line with that shit
Will says:
CANT BE DONE
Will says:
why dont you just print a label
Will says:
RTMHEDVTRYSUTR
Hudson says:
well at least its sorted now
Will says:
this is true

Alright campers I hope you enjoyed this edition of Will's life.

Come back for more in a few days. There's a beach trip coming up that promises to be disastrous and a BBQ that should be equally insane.